THE POET LAUREATE...NOT

New Poetry

2010-11-03T19:54:00.000-07:00

Crossing The Bridge

On the path there are many twists and turns.

There are days of joy mixed with heartache,

Days of utter confusion and despair mixed with hope,

Days of wondering will you ever be able to cross the bridge.

Don't lose hope, continue on the path until the bridge is within reach;

With its pure glistening water below and the warmth of the sun hitting your face.

Crossing the bridge is hard when the wounded heart is fearful of the unknown.

Are you ready to cross; leaving the old life behind?

Its hard to change when the wounds of the past have built your life.

On one side there is dark blindness; the other light and life abundance;

Which one will you choose?

Sanctuary

2009-09-02T20:58:00.000-07:00

A place where I can go to be one with my rambling thoughts.

A place that is quiet, a place of my own.

A place where I can escape the realities of this world and live in one of my own design.

A place where I can be me; not the person the world thinks I should be!

A place with white sands and aquamarine waters not yet been contaminated by the hands of man.

New Poem

2009-07-05T09:56:00.000-07:00

I have not posted anything new here in a while. I have been busy with tax season and marketing for Healing Through Creativity. I would like to post a new poem I wrote last month. I especially like this one because I am using a little more literary techniques here. I hope you all enjoy the poem.

Beauty

Sees through the glorious light,
Every part of beauty etches the soul,
Needs beauty to help become whole.

The ache and longing continue,
Constant in the heart sees beauty everywhere,
Instead of an ugly stare.

Clandestine love of a young heart,
Needing and yearning beauty’s path to cross,
Without it, the heart suffers loss.

Needs beauty to comfort the tired soul,
Living in a world that doesn’t care,
Crying and alone in despair.

Like two ships sailing different ways,
The path and beauty have been going,
Not one or the other knowing.

The fates say they have other things in store,
It is time to let go,
Like a stubborn child tells them NO!

So hard to let go of beauty,
It is in the heart from first to last,
It does not remind of the dark and wicked past.

Knowing there is much light ahead,
Still holds to beauty tightly,Day by day tries to let go ever so lightly.

In The Darkness

2008-10-18T10:55:00.000-07:00

In The Darkness

I

A child alone in the darkness laid waiting for his footsteps to come,
Heard them come near wanted to run.

Alone in the darkness, built an imaginary world to escape the pain, wondering would anything be the same.

In the darkness crying alone, wanting comfort and arms that are safe, alone in the darkness his little waif.

II

Many nights laid in the darkness waiting for death to come, how many ways to become undone.

In the darkness laying for hours inside self wanting to die, for so many years, living and believing the lie.

In the darkness living a starving raped soul, hoping one day to become whole.

III

Years have passed, the journey has begun, it is time now to stop and not run.

Laying in the darkness the shadows of the past come calling, many nights dreams of falling.

Falling and falling with no end in sight, wake from sleep full of fright.

Feeling the shadows hands around the throat, wake from sleep wanting to choke.

The shadow breathes in the ear, wake from sleep again to not let him near.

IV

The journey continues,no dark shadows haunt the sleep, no more in the darkness weep.

In the darkness peace is near, the darkness no longer a source of fear.

In the darkness alone crying no longer, since the journey began the heart and healing soul become stronger.

To Get To You

2008-10-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

I am changing to get to you,
I know now it is something I have to do.
Changing to make myself whole,
No longer do I want to live in a fish bowl.
Changing to make you proud of me,
I want to be the person I know I can be.
Each day I climb out of the abyss,
There will be days however that I will miss.

A starving soul who has lost her way,
I believed all the lies what can I say.
In the darkness I have lived for many years,
I ruled my life by childish fears.

I am changing inside and out,
There are times I do live in fear and doubt.
I feel good enough to be the one you need,
So take me by the hand, I will let you lead.
I see you and want to be with you,
I want you so bad I don’t know what to do.
I hope one day our paths will cross
For now I am at a loss; you don’t even know I exist,
You are only a dream in the mist.

Every day my heart and soul grow better and stronger,
I am weak no longer.
There will be days I can’t get out of my way,
I’m not perfect hey what can I say.
It is time for YOU and the rest of the world to see me,
In isolation again I will no longer be.

I smile, laugh and love to have fun,
No more do I live life on the run.
My soul is full and burning with passion,
I do not indulge tradition or any other fashion.
To the world I give my gift of the written word,
They will set free the caged bird.
No longer do I ask where do I belong,
For many years I sang that old tired song.

I do sometimes struggle with addictive behaviors,
For the longest time they have been my only saviors.
With faith and confidence in myself I will overcome
I have changed to no longer become undone.

I have changed so I can love you, me and others,
No longer will I run and hide under the covers.
With all my faults, insecurities and mistakes of the past,
there is one thing I ask,
Can you see past them and be the love that will last.

With each change I make, I will no longer repeat
the same mistake. With each breath I take, each
step I make they lead me one step closer to you.

Amazon.com

2008-10-03T10:53:00.001-07:00

Checked this site today and the book is on it and available for purchase. It has been there since Sept 15. I was under the impression that it would take another 4 to 6 weeks. What a surprise that is! All you need to do is type in the name of the book Breaking The Silence.... A Survivor's Story and it will take you right to it. Here is what it looks like.

Breaking The Silence.... A Survivor's Story by Marie Coppla (Paperback - Sep 15, 2008)
Buy new: $15.50
2 Used & new from $15.50
Get it by Monday, Oct 6 if you order in the next 18 hours and choose one-day shipping.Eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping.

I am so excited!!! Now it makes me want to print out the flyers and start going to the local independant bookstores around town.

I hope everybody has a great weekend.

New Poem

2007-10-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

One of the things I have discovered about myself lately is that I am a very passionate person. I guess this passion reflects in my poetry. I have often been criticized in the past that my poetry has been dark and depressing. Whatever!
I wrote this only this morning. It is for my soulmate whomever he is. I may have already met him or I may never meet him.

Can't Wait

My eyes can't wait to see your beautiful face again
My lips can't wait to touch yours
My arms can't wait to hold you and never let go
My hands can't wait to touch every part of your body
My body can't wait to love you
My heart can't wait until I have yours
My soul can't wait to be with you forever

The Guardian

2007-08-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

Dear sweet one we have finally laid you to rest,
Your sensitive soul is not put to the test.
You were sent to protect and guard,
To help us when life gets too hard.

You now sit quietly here on my shoulder,
To guard and guide as life grows colder.
We need to believe you did not die in vain
If you did nothing will be the same.

Voices

2007-08-04T18:11:00.000-07:00

This post is inspired by Sarah's latest post "Satan's Lies". Just want to let you know that you are not alone.

Voices

I lived my life by the voices in my head,
They have filled it with a lot of lead.
The voices tell me that the abuse was my fault,
This message was ingrained in my mind’s vault.
The voices tell me that things were not worth trying,
This lie I was always buying.
The voices told me that I am bad,
This has always made me truly sad.
The voices tell me that I do not deserve good things,
That is now why I have broken wings.

The voices tell me that I can’t do anything,
Therefore, I sat at home alone and did nothing.
The voices tell me that things will never get better,
Therefore, I let the sadness, anger and doubt fester.
The voices have always put me down,
That is why I walk around with a frown.
The voices tell me that I will never be good enough,
I am so tired of listening to that stuff.
The voices I have listened to for many years you see,
They have tricked me out of the person I thought I could be.
Now one voice tells me it is time to change the tape,
I am doing this now so from negativity I can escape.

I have let my negative thought patterns (and other things) rob me of the life I so richly deserve. My friend Kate always said to me it was time to "change the tapes". What she means is to start thinking positively about things and not let the "voices" take over and hinder me from living life and start seeing things in a different way.

Survival

2007-07-28T15:58:00.000-07:00

I did the best I could to survive,
If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be alive.
I read a lot to make my knowledge thrive,
It was only one way I knew to survive.
I spent many days and nights watching television,
It was part of my little prison.
Constant fantasies of a different life helped me cope,
They were creative and filled with scope.
I escaped the trauma through constant sleep,
The wounds were just too deep.
I pretended to get religion,
It compounded my existing lack of vision.

Many days I thought about suicide,
Because of the pain I had to hide.
Instead, I gave in to my addictions and destructive behaviors,
They became my only saviors.
I survived by constant isolation,
It was of no consolation.
I survived by putting on many masks,
Just so no one asks.
I always strived for perfection,
I don’t see it now when I look at my reflection.
Being funny and cynical helped me to get through the awful years,
I didn’t have to feel the pain or cry the tears.
I did all of these things, what it’s all for?
To save my life and now earn the title of SUVIVOR!

Silence

2007-07-26T20:15:00.000-07:00

In silence I dream of living another life,
Life without constant turmoil and strife.
In silence my darkness cries out for help,
But the world does not seem to care,
I dream for a kindred spirit, one who
Will always be there.

In silence my isolation grows,
When it will end I will never know.
In silence it seems my life has passed me by,
It took me forever it seems to understand why.

In silence I have put up the walls so nobody comes in,
If they don’t come down the darkness will win.
In silence I listen to the voices in my head,
Gone astray, that is where they have lead.

From silence I learned to cope,
I have also found that there is hope.
Silence has broken my sensitive wings,
I could never talk about a lot of things.

Silence is not going to set you free
That it is no way to be.
Silence will bind you to the secrets of the heart,
Releasing it is the best place to start.

Once the silence is broken my wings can fly again,
The only question that remains is WHEN?

An Explaination

2007-07-24T17:00:00.000-07:00

It seems my last post has sparked some controversy. I guess that is part of being a writer evoking controversy even though no harm was intended. The poem was NOT posted out of any maliciousness or spitefullness on my part. It was posted merely to tell a part of my life.

I am truly sorry however that poeple are angry and hurt by the post. The suggestion was made that I should not post these kinds of things in a public way. I will have to do some thinking on that one.

A Look Into My life

2007-07-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

The following poem is very near and dear to my heart. By reading it, I hope the reader gets a sense of the pain and secrets that I have been carrying around with me until I got into therapy in 1997.

I Never Told Anyone

Many nights brother came to my bed; he is such a creep,
I never told anyone, the wounds are now too deep.
He said he would tell if I didn’t do what he wanted,
I never told anyone, those words for a long time haunted.
When he came to me, he raped my heart and soul,
I never told anyone, so I lived my life in a fish bowl.
For years, I blamed myself for the deepest cut of all,
I never told anyone, so I just put up another wall.

I was afraid to speak about what was going on,
I never told anyone, I kept the secret for far too long.
I thought I had to live in total silence,
I never told anyone about the violence.
Dad told us not to talk about what went on
In his house,
I never told anyone, I was quiet as a mouse.
Sometimes I thought about picking up a knife,
I never told anyone, now this secret has destroyed my life.
One day it all stopped and how convenient that no one remembers,
I never told anyone, now it is I who must pick up the embers.

For Sid

2007-07-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

The Dream

The dream comes to me in my bed and in the dark of night,
Every time it came, it would cause me fright.
In the dream, someone comes to my bed, breathes in my ear
and down my neck, I tried to scream what the heck!
The dream tries to grab hold of me and I try to fight back,
I am weak strength is what I lack.
I try to scream for mommy but the scream does not come,
I wanted to leap out of my bed and begin to run.
After the dream came, I forced to wake from a peaceful sleep
I tried to go back counting sheep.
I tried to fall back into slumber and the dream returns again,
Some day the dream will stop but for now, I wonder WHEN?

With You

2007-06-21T19:14:00.000-07:00

I have often been criticized that my poems have been too depressing. I guess they only see what's on poetry.com to base their opinions on. That site only allows poems that are 20 lines or less. Some of my more uplifting poems are much longer and give hope to the reader. I am going to share with you one of a few poems I wrote for my therapist Carol who has since retired. When I think about her and our time together it always makes me smile. It was due to her kindness and her guidance that I am in a better place in my life today.

With You

I lived my life the black hole,
As a result, I never achieved my true goal.
I woke up one day and told myself enough of this,
The search began to climb myself out of the abyss.
I needed to find someone I could trust,
That to me is a must.
Now I have found you my lending ear,
You are the first person I have let get near.

Now with you I can talk about and feel the pain,
You gave me hope, now my life will never be the same.
With you, I learned that bad things happen to GOOD people,
So no longer do I need a pew and a steeple.
With you, I learned I had to forgive myself what I did to survive,
You were there when my soul began to thrive.

With you, I learned I don’t have to forgive HIM for the treachery
he infiltrated upon me,
When I found that out, I yelled, Yippee!
With you, I learned I have to forgive myself at that’s ALL,
No longer must I feel like I am a foot tall.
With you, I learned that is was NOT my fault,
That was the biggest truth that I was taught
It was one of the answers that I have always sought.

New Poem

2007-05-17T21:03:00.000-07:00

Love's Sweet Pain

I knew you would would have been good for me,
You would have helped me spread my wings and fly,
But all you said was bye bye bye.
You soon found another, you thought she was the one,
The one who would fill your life with love and fun.
She is gone and you are now feeling love's sweet pain
Just as I, you now feel the chill and the strain.
Even now when I see you when I do,I sometimes hope we can start anew
You were a dream that I know that can never come true.
You will always have a piece of my heart,The part that was broken by you,
I hope someday I will find someone new.

Copyright ©2007 Marie Coppla

I Grieve

2006-11-06T22:45:00.000-08:00

In addition to "Why She Cries" this is my favorite poem that I have written. I hope you all will like it as much as I do. Enjoy!

I grieve for my lost child,
The adult who now goes wild.
I grieve for innocence lost,
The adult who now adds the cost.
I grieve for youth past,
The adult tries recapture long does it last.
I grieve dark prince who loved me first,
The adult whose heart wants to burst.
I grieve for life passed by,
The adult who is angry and starts to cry,
I grieve for possibly no future,
The adult whose wounds are trying to suture.

Marie A. Coppla
Copyright ©2006 Marie A. Coppla

Published Again!

2006-10-30T11:41:00.000-08:00

On Thursday of last week I recieved a letter from the editors of Poetry.com to inform me that my poem "Addiction" is going to be published and that it is entered in the semi-finals in their monthly poetry contest. You can read the poem on this site, poetry.com or on My Space.

As some of you know my first poem "Her Angel" was published in 2005. To me this is another little step in where I want to go. I hope this IS a sign of better things to come.

Why She Cries

2006-10-11T20:16:00.000-07:00

To heal she now feels the pain and cries the tears,
She has not done so for many years.She lies alone in her bed in the dead of night,
She wants someone to hold her and take away the fright.
She cries because she was made an adult before itwas time to be one,

She could never go out and have any fun.
She cries for her lost youth and innocence,
She feels that her whole life she has done penance.
She cries for not experiencing a first true love,
Pure and white just like a dove.

She cries for what she did to survive,
She has never felt truly alive.
She cries for the reality that she is alone,
She wants someone to find her and bring her home.

She cries for the lost hope she sometimes feels inside,
She wants to pull over the covers and hide.
She cries for making bad choices,
She has always listened to the voices.

She cries for the way her life has turned out,
Now all she wants to do is scream and shout.
She cries for the person she once was and the personshe has become,
She still hopes that some day those two will become one.

Book Cover

2006-10-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

I don't think all of my readers know, but I am trying to have my poetry published. I have been working on this project for over a year. It seems I can't find the money to pay for the publishing costs. I have however chosen a title for the book and designed a cover.

Below is a cover I designed, please take a look and feel free to comment.

The first picture is the back cover: White roses are so pure...Red roses are just white roses bleeding from pain

The second image is the front cover: It includes the title of the book which I will not reveal at this time...I want to surprise everybody. The background color is white. Not bad for an amateur Eh?

Addiction

2006-10-07T03:25:00.000-07:00

Addiction

You have an addiction; Like a cancer growing bigger out of control.
I don’t know how it started; End it before it consumes your soul.
You lie, beg, steal and borrow to feed it; That’s what addiction does. I thought I could trust you, Were you my friend?
You took from me to feed it; I guess I was the victim once again.
You have to work to regain broken trust, addiction has become your lust.
I know what you did; you will not own it, that’s what addiction does to the soul.
You have taken from me once; You will take no more. I will not feed your addiction.

Marie A Coppla

Copyright ©2006 Marie A Coppla

Welcome Everybody!!

2006-10-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

Here it is as promised so long ago, my poetry blog. I would like to dedicate this blog to the memory of my niece-Brittany Nicole Kish-a published poet who had awesome potential. That potential will never be recognized due to her untimely passing on April 11, 2005.This blog deals with poetry. I will be publishing mine, Brittany's (with proper permission of course) and any other amateur poets. To submit poems e-mail me at mariecoppla@yahoo.com.I will start things off with one of mine called Silence

Silence

In silence I dream of living another life,
Life without constant turmoil and strife.
In silence my darkness cries out for help,
But the world does not seem to care,
I dream for a kindred spirit, one who
Will always be there.

In silence my isolation grows,
When it will end I will never know.
In silence it seems my life has passed me by,
It took me forever it seems to understand why.

In silence I have put up the walls so nobody comes in,
If they don't come down the dark prince will win.
In silence I listen to the voices in my head,
Gone astray, that is where they have lead.

From silence I learned to cope,
I have also found that there is hope.
Silence has broken my sensitive wings,
I could never talk about a lot of things.

Silence is not going to set you free
That it is no way to be.
Silence will bind you to the secrets of the heart,
Releasing it is the best place to start.

Once the silence is broken my wings can fly again,
The only question that remains is WHEN?