Survival

I did the best I could to survive,
If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be alive.
I read a lot to make my knowledge thrive,
It was only one way I knew to survive.
I spent many days and nights watching television,
It was part of my little prison.
Constant fantasies of a different life helped me cope,
They were creative and filled with scope.
I escaped the trauma through constant sleep,
The wounds were just too deep.
I pretended to get religion,
It compounded my existing lack of vision.


Many days I thought about suicide,
Because of the pain I had to hide.
Instead, I gave in to my addictions and destructive behaviors,
They became my only saviors.
I survived by constant isolation,
It was of no consolation.
I survived by putting on many masks,
Just so no one asks.
I always strived for perfection,
I don’t see it now when I look at my reflection.
Being funny and cynical helped me to get through the awful years,
I didn’t have to feel the pain or cry the tears.
I did all of these things, what it’s all for?
To save my life and now earn the title of SUVIVOR!