Saturday, July 28, 2007

Survival

I did the best I could to survive,
If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be alive.
I read a lot to make my knowledge thrive,
It was only one way I knew to survive.
I spent many days and nights watching television,
It was part of my little prison.
Constant fantasies of a different life helped me cope,
They were creative and filled with scope.
I escaped the trauma through constant sleep,
The wounds were just too deep.
I pretended to get religion,
It compounded my existing lack of vision.


Many days I thought about suicide,
Because of the pain I had to hide.
Instead, I gave in to my addictions and destructive behaviors,
They became my only saviors.
I survived by constant isolation,
It was of no consolation.
I survived by putting on many masks,
Just so no one asks.
I always strived for perfection,
I don’t see it now when I look at my reflection.
Being funny and cynical helped me to get through the awful years,
I didn’t have to feel the pain or cry the tears.
I did all of these things, what it’s all for?
To save my life and now earn the title of SUVIVOR!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

thanks for this inspiring poem, i needed this :)

Marie said...

Paris, I am glad the poem gave you some hope and encouragement.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Marie,
We do all sorts of things just to be able to survive. That's very normal. We have that inborn instinct of self preservation. That's to prevent us from resorting to self destruction.

It's a matter of coping. To be able to survive and struggle through life. Everybody goes through that critical period in life.

May the Lord bless you with the path towards inner healing and complete restoration.

Symbiosis said...

Beautiful!